During the home renovation, my granfather was watching me drive in nails. "You hammer like lightning," he said.
"Really?" I replied, flattered.
"You never strike the same place twice."

- Dave Lockett

Unhealty Reunion

I had a chance meeting with an old school mate in a cafe. We sat down and were having a lovely reminisce until he suddenly started going on about how happily married he was. The shift in the conversation perplexed me until I looked down.
The leg I'd been rubbing my itchy skin against wasn't the table's. It was his.

- James Mason

Business Mind Women

A businesswoman is sitting at the bar. A man approch her "Hi honey," he says. "Want a little company?"
"Why?" asks the woman. "Do you have one to sell?"

- Carolyn A. Stradly

Managing Kids

I overheard my nine year-old on the phone with a friend discussing a computer stimulation game. The game involved creating a family, a house for them to live in, and so on. My son, an old hand at the game, gave this warning: "Whatever you do don't get kids. They don't bring in any money, and all they do is eat."

-Nicole Kauling

Lost Pilot

Stormy weather diverted our Dallas-bound flight to another airport. As we approach the runway, the pilot came on the intercome: " For those of you who are not familiar with the area, this is Lubbock, Texas."
Then he pause. " And for those of you who are familiar with this area, I think this is Lubbock, Taxes."

-Darrel Burton

Why you must read first

Source: Reader's Digest